If they would have asked me “what kind of person you are?”, I would say “kind, compassionate, loving the nature, animals, humans…” Which means I wouldn’t kill and hurt other people with intention; I wouldn’t torture or make them slaves.
Like many other people around me, may be except the psychos and sociopaths, we are all good people and wouldn’t want to cause pain to others.
I am vegetarian for many years now but my motivation was never animal compassion at first place. For me dogs are lovable and emotional, cows are eatable and dull. Being a Muslim helped me to embrace this reality very quickly I must confess. Yes, I loved some goats and sheeps, I gave names to them, I played with them but than during religious Feast of Sacrifice, I watched my father cutting their throats and let them bleed to death. Than they peel the skin, cleaned the inner organs… And I never forget that decapitated goat head in the pan waiting to be boiled as a soup, with wide open and surprised eyes, looking at me. I was so afraid of that head. Then we eat the livers, intestines, tongues, spleens, heart, meat, everything of my little friend.
So I learnt animals are divided into 2. The ones you love, the ones you don’t love and just eat. And I didn’t question this belief ever again. The best smells of my childhood was mum’s kofta, fried chickens and chops.
Years later, during my Reiki master initiation, my master told me to avoid animal products to purify my energy. After 1,5 month of not eating animals, I tried to turn back to my normal diet. But I realize when I am vegetarian my psychic talents are stronger, I am much calmer and peaceful. I tried to eat hamburgers, but it was too late, without any intention to be one, I became vegetarian.
Then 3 years ago, went to Thailand for 21 days of detox. I was the greatest cheese lover ever, but when I turned back to Turkey, I was different, even the smell of cheese made me disgusted. Again, without intention I found myself a vegan. And I liked to be one, as I made some research; I found out that animal proteins are not a healthy choice.
But I was still eating fish etc here and there. Well, I was not one of those crazy, activist, strange animal lovers! I was normal 🙂
Than one day, the grilled fish I ordered gazed on me from my plate with it’s big, shiny, wide open eye. It was talking to me saying “I am a sensitive living being!” That moment I realized after 28 years, I KILLed a LIVING BEING, I HURT it and made it SUFFER. It was because of me! Because I like fish… Not because I have to eat it or I will die, but because I like it, it is my pleasure… I hurt living things for pleasure?
Than that night I saw a dream, in my dream fishes won the battle of evolution. They were the strongest species who control humans. It was a human market where totally naked and wet women, men, children, Africans, Chinese, red heads etc are displayed on the counters. Some big guys were even cut into half. And the fish families were looking at dead humans and buying them to eat.
I am not going to say don’t eat animals, I think many tribes who still hunt the wild animals and eat to survive, have some honor. But what’s the honor in buying it from mass production factories?
I started to research, watch videos, read books. The more I learnt about mass farming, factory production, the more I was shocked and shamed of being human. For our pleasure to eat flesh, dairy, eggs, or to wear fur, leather, they were sentenced to a insanely painful and unmerciful life and death.
All those years, eating animals, I was the biggest liar myself when I refer myself as compassionate and kind.
How we decide who we are? It is not the words but the choices we made that define us. Every second you buy, eat, wear, look you make choices and tell the world who you are.
Everyone around me are very good people who wouldn’t kick a dog, find dolphins cute but they also eat meat. Why cows, pigs, chickens, fishes, foxes, turkeys, shrimps are different? They feel pain, they get socialized, they have families, and they have intelligence…
Now, I can’t even kill a mosquito, I just can’t do it just like I can’t kill a man, cut a tree or pollute the ocean.
After Franz Kafka became a vegetarian, went to the Berlin Aquarium, stood in front of the tanks, looked at the fish and said “Now at last I can look at you in peace. I don’t eat you anymore”. Thats how I feel like now…